Uprooted

It is so hard to focus on the positive. Not when you're in the doldrums.

I really have tried to prevent the malaise of work to blacken my mood. It is very hard, when you see good people let go, when you see talented people get frustrated and leave, and when those who are left simply go to work and miss the good old days.

Luck has been with me so far. I'm in good health, with a nice home, a good family, a wonderful little boy. I have my career, my Tai Chi, my circle of friends, my comfortable lifestyle.

And even with all the turmoil at the office, I have kept plugging away, kept finding the work that made me happy but was still valued, important work that people read.

But now the rug has pulled out from under me. After months of speculation, I was finally told the bad news that a bureau my company has had for more than 30 years (maybe 35 or 40?) will be shut down. I knew it was coming but the absolute truth of it is just hitting today.

Because it is expedient. Because it will save money. Because apparently it doesn't matter whether I have a base of operations that makes sense for the work I need to do. Because I am simply another body that can get shuffled around and it doesn't matter how difficult this makes life for me. Because it is a line item that can be quickly deleted without guilt.

I don't want to wallow in this pit for too long. There are many people out there, who have much more terrible problems. There are greater crises out there.

I know I can find a way through this, to remake this and work for me. But for the moment, I'm not sure how. Can I do my magical lemons into lemonade trick this time?

Sigh.